I Need Your Love
by rocket-queen98
Summary: Freddie and Lindsey share a moment, will he finally tell her how he feels? Will she run in the other direction or into his arms?
1. Me and You

**I Need Your Love**

**_A/N_** **In my story there is no story-line of Lindsey being pregnant, it makes it easier for me and I'm sorry if the characters are OCC but it's my first try with Hollyoaks. Anyway I do hope that you still enjoy and please review.**

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"What if I am mental about someone? Watching her, day in, day out. Knowing that she's with the wrong person, wishing it was me...from the very second I laid eyes on her. I mean, she's the only one that can save me right now!"

Freddie took a step closer to Lindsey, his vision becoming blurry with tears as the words poured out of him, but knowing that she had no idea of the real reason behind them. His nails dug into the palm of his hands as his fists clenched tightly, wishing that she would just wrap her arms around him and make the problems that he was having all better, like she always did with Joe.

"The only good thing in my life..."

Lindsey glared, unaffected by his words as she turned around to him, anger flashing in her eyes. He felt somewhat ashamed, not liking her look at all, as if he was a child being caught red-handed stealing the cookie out of the jar. He wanted the smile she gave to his brother, the one that lit up her eyes, the one that forgave Joe for everything. He would beg if he thought that it would work. The smile gave him butterflies and gave him hope that he had something good in his future, that he wouldn't be a lowlife criminal forever.

"But she's only just out of reach."

He took another step, still keeping her challenging gaze, and Lindsey made no move to back away. His teeth ground together as the three words he wanted to say tried to fight their way out of his mouth. His hands shook as she continued to stare at him, waiting for him to respond. Freddie's whole being wanted the words to be returned, like she always did with his brother. He wanted to feel secure and safe for once in his life, he wanted acceptance and he knew that if Lindsey felt the same way, she would give him that. Her love was pure and constant, it was like air and he knew that if she said it, she would make him feel alive again.

Freddie's heart stopped for a second, then began beating harshly against his rib-cage and he let out a breath. The words he desperately wanted to say were on the end of his tongue, but he bit his lip, swallowing the lump in his throat. He wanted to say them, so fucking badly, but he couldn't. Because if he did, it would rip his entire family apart and it would be all his fault. Also, he didn't deserve her, she was worth a million of him, and she didn't want him anyway. She was just too good for him, but every-time their eyes met, he wondered 'what if?'

Lindsey sneered at him,"Then why don't you tell her?"

Freddie moved toward her again, his gaze slipping from her eyes to her lips then back again. It was like he was a man possessed, he wanted to pull away, but for some reason he couldn't. He needed this, yearned for this for nearly a decade and now was his chance. He moved slowly, still giving her a chance to pull away and slap him, that was his worst nightmare. He couldn't handle being rejected by the girl of his dreams. All the possible consequences that could happen flew out of his mind as he leaned toward her, his whole body now shaking. Lindsey tilted her head, a confused look on her face as he leaned into her, the familiar scent of her calming his nerves.

"Fred...wha-"

Lindsey was cut off by Freddie crushing his lips to hers, shutting off all her protests. She let out a startled sound, her eyes screwing shut as his fingers wrapped around her wrists when she raised her hands to push him off. He pulled her hands to his chest, placing them over his heart and hauled her close to him, trying to get her to give in to him. She was so soft, so warm and he knew that this was the closest he was ever going to get to heaven. She tried to push herself away from him, but the more she fought, the more he held on, like she was some sort of life line. She could feel his thumb running along her wrist, and it sent shivers up her spine, no matter how much she tried to fight it off.

She wanted to get away from him...didn't she?

Thoughts of Joe, she so desperately tried to keep in her mind, was replaced with the man kissing her now. She let out another sound, but this time, it wasn't from disgust, it was a moan. This caused her to part her lips, and Freddie quickly took this distraction to slide his tongue along her lower lip and then slither it into her mouth. He let out a weak whimper and her breathing hitched, before she started to kiss him back, slowly but surely. It was new, exiting, and it made her want more. This was Freddie, the man she used to think of as a little brother, her best friend but now she thought of him the way she used to think about her celebrity crushes. He kissed her as if it were his last day on this earth, and it took her breath away because it seemed like he had wanted to do it for years. The world seemed to fall away for Freddie, leaving the two of them.

There was no Joe to steal her away from him, there wasn't his mother to judge him on the way he felt about Lindsey. But most of all, he was finally happy because she was kissing him back. They pulled back away, both panting for much-needed air. His hands let go of hers and cupped her face in his hands, his forehead resting against hers, eyes shut in just as he was about to tell her the three words he had wanted to say for years, it was all ripped away. Lindsey pulled away, the moment ruined when a paramedic and a doctor raced into the room with an injured patient. His eyes widened when he set them on the girl in front of him, who was gazing back in horror, her hand over her mouth before she ran out of the room.

"Lindsey, no, please!"

She ignored him, not looking back as she ran down the corridor and away from him. Freddie let out a choked sound, falling back against the wall behind him as he tried to keep his tears inside.

_Please review and I'll continue if you want._


	2. Talks Over Tea

**That Night**

Lindsey looked over at the alarm clock on the night stand, letting out a long sigh when she noticed that it was past midnight. Screwing her eyes shut, she kicked the covers off of her body, burying her face into the pillow as she tried to calm her restless mind. Next to her, Joe shifted onto his side, his arm wrapping itself around her waist, snoring lightly. For a few seconds this calmed her down, but then the reason why she couldn't sleep popped back into her mind, and she instantly felt guilty. Her mind was spinning about the day's earlier events, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fall asleep.

After a few more minutes, she gave up. Silently, making sure not to wake up Joe, she carefully pulled his arm off of her and slowly made her way off of the bed. Grabbing her dressing gown on the way, Lindsey tip-toed out of the bedroom and down the staircase. She padded into the kitchen and turned on the kettle, running a hand through her long locks as she got the milk out of the fridge and a cup from the cupboard.

"Couldn't sleep either?"

Dropping the spoon onto the counter in shock, Lindsey's head snapped to the side to where the source of the voice was. Freddie was leaning against the door frame, a small smile on his face, but she could tell that he wasn't happy at all. He looked like he had been drinking, and by looking at his bloodshot eyes, she noticed that he had been crying. His hair was pointing in every direction, and he still had his clothes on that he had been wearing earlier that day. Lindsey crossed her arms and leaned against the counter as she waited for the kettle to boil.

"No, Joe's tossing and turning."

For the first time ever, she felt uncomfortable in Freddie's presence. It was weird because normally he was one of the only people who made her feel safe and sound. The Freddie that she always went to and talked with till early hours in the morning whenever she felt scared or upset about something was making her feel uncomfortable. It was all new to her and she knew that he could tell how she was feeling because he was staring at her, as if he could see through her facade because he knew her better than anyone else, sometimes even Joe.

"Want some tea?"

Nodding, Freddie strolled into the kitchen, sitting on top of the bar stool as he watched her walk around the small space, shutting and opening the fridge and cupboards. She looked tired and stressed which made Freddie feel guilty because he had caused that look. But the one thing he didn't feel guilty about, even thought he knew deep inside that he should, was their kiss. He knew that it was wrong, that it was the wrong time to do it, but he knew that he would never change their first kiss for the world. It was one of the best moments of his life. Cutting off his thoughts, Freddie smiled thankfully when Lindsey put his steaming cup in front of him before sitting next him.

"Thanks."

They sat there in awkward silence, Lindsey wanting to run away because of the way he was staring at her. Freddie was just comfortable looking at her, somewhat happy that she wasn't slapping him. She felt as if he was trying to read her, so she kept her eyes on the cup in front of her, chewing on her lower lip as she listened to him breathe. Her fingers nervously tapped against the side of her cup, stopping when she felt Freddie's hand cover her own. She jumped, trying to tear her hand out of his but he held her tight.

"Look at me, Linds...please?"

His fingers ran over her knuckles, still keeping a tight grip on her hand as he spoke softly. Raising her head, Lindsey set her eyes on his, her stomach sinking when she noticed the tears in his eyes. Normally, he didn't show any emotion and this scared her because Freddie was tough and never let anyone see what was inside. He smiled at her, but it didn't convince her, he wasn't happy at all. For the next few moments, they just looked at each-other, his finger tips creating goosebumps on her skin.

"We need to talk, y'know? About earlier."

She watched as they moved from her hand to her wrist the up her arm, as far as he could reach and It made her jump again. Lindsey slapped his hand away, trying to mentally shake off the things he was making her feel. His eyes widened as she moved off of the stool, muttering to herself as she paced back and forth. He moved over to her, trying to embrace her and calm her down but she shoved him off.

"NO! You cannot do this, this isn't right, Fred. You're my best friend, I tell you everything! You're the person who listens to me ramble till 4am, you are the person who tells me that everything is going to be OK."

Freddie finally mustered up the confidence to gently grabbed her by the forearms and keep her still, but she still didn't stop hissing at him, and inch by inch, it was breaking his heart. His hands moved up to her shoulders, but he made sure not to set her off again. He needed her to understand, to see that he didn't want to hurt her.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, but I need you to know that I don't regret it, even if you do."

His voice broke when he said the last few words, silently pleading God to give him what he wanted for once. In a perfect world, she would smile at him and tell him that it was the best moment of her life, just like it was his but he knew that would never happen. She was going to tell him not to come near him again, and go back to bed with Joe, back to her perfect life. Lindsey opened her mouth to say something but he quickly hushed her, knowing that if he didn't say what he wanted to say, that he would never have the courage to tell her.

"But I want to tell you that I didn't do it in the heat of the moment. I didn't do it to hurt you, I never want to hurt you. I did it because the person I was talking about was you, you are the girl that i'm mental about. You're the girl who's with the wrong person, even if you don't see it now."

Opening his eyes, He had so much to say but he couldn't put it into the right words. He could hear her breathing hitch, just like it did when he kissed her. The scene that took place only hours before flashed through his mind and it calmed him down slightly. But Freddie was shaking, though he knew that he needed to do this.

"I've loved you since the day I met you, since the first time you came round for dinner, you remember? When you told mum that her spag bol was the greatest thing you ever tasted, and then you gave me your smile. I've been in love with you since that moment."


End file.
